Avowed: Skyrim #2?

 Avowed, the game that's like the participation trophy of RPGs - it shows up, it tries, and it's... fine. It's not exactly setting the world on fire, but it's not completely embarrassing itself either. It's just... there, like a fucking lukewarm cup of coffee that you don't really want to drink, but you're too lazy to get up and make a new one.

Let's start with the combat, which is like the game's one cool friend who tries to make it look good. It's fast-paced, it's flashy, and it's got some neat spells and abilities to play around with. But, it's like they took all the excitement and energy of the combat and then just... forgot to add any real challenge or depth to it. It's like playing a game of "whack-a-mole" with orcs and goblins, except instead of mallets, you've got magic missiles and swords. Woo-hoo, what a fucking blast.

And then there's the character customization, which is like trying to build a LEGO castle with a blindfold on while being shit at LEGO. It's got a lot of pieces, but it's not really clear what you're supposed to be building or how to make it look good. The skill trees are like a maze with too many dead ends, and the attribute system is like trying to solve a math problem with too many variables while being drunk. It's not exactly rocket science, but it's not exactly intuitive either, you know?

But hey, at least the game's characters are somewhat interesting, right? They're like the quirky, lovable friends who show up to the party and make things slightly more bearable. The dialogue system is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, except instead of choices, you've just got a bunch of slightly different ways of saying the same thing. "Do you want to be a good guy or a bad guy?" Oh, wow, what a tough fucking choice. It's like they're not even trying to hide the fact that they're phoning it in.

And the story? Well, it's like they took every fantasy cliche, put it in a blender, and hit puree. But, you know, in a weird way, it's kind of charming? It's like they're not even trying to hide the fact that they're ripping off every other fantasy game and book out there. It's like they're just winking at you and saying, "Hey, we know this is all familiar, but just go with it, okay? Don't worry, we won't make you think too hard or anything."

But, despite all its mediocrity, Avowed is still... enjoyable, I guess. It's like the comfort food of RPGs - it's not going to win any awards, but it's still going to fill your belly and make you feel somewhat satisfied. The game's atmosphere is pretty nice, with some cool environments and a decent soundtrack. And, hey, the combat may not be super challenging, but it's still fun to just mindlessly hack away at things with your sword while screaming "I'm a fucking wizard, hear me roar!"

So, if you're looking for a game that's just... fine, then Avowed might be the game for you. It's not going to blow your mind, but it's not going to offend you either. It's just... there, taking up space on your hard drive and occasionally reminding you that it exists. But, hey, at least it's not a complete waste of time, right? It's like the gaming equivalent of a shrug emoji - ¯_(ツ)_/¯. Yeah, it's a thing, and it's okay, I guess. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go play something that's actually good, like a fucking adult.

If you're interested in trying the game for yourself (and helping out your boys) you can buy it from here